positive Thinking for Christmas

Positive Thinking for Christmas

Lately there’s been a lot of negative images and about Christmas conjured up. Usually it’s from TV, movies, books, and the Internet. This makes for a sad, dreary Christmas, just the opposite, as what it should be. To cheer up the dreariness, caused by these negatives, the following list should be used. First is listed the negative idea or image. Then is the positive thinking needed to replace those negatives. So with positive thinking everyone will have a Joyous and Happy Christmas Season.

1. Negative
On TV and in movies Santa Claus shown as a drunk being hauled off to jail.

Positive
Think of how easy it is to get a bicycle, instead of your usual lump of coal, by mugging Santa.

2. Negative
How Santa might not get to your house before morning, because of a blizzard.

Positive
How fast the sled and reindeer can fly with a 60 mile per hour tail wind.

3. Negative
Elfs going on strike and there are no toys in the stores to be given to you as presents.

Positive
The money you save by rewrapping the presents you received last year and giving as presents this year.

4. Negative
You are getting no presents because Santa is too fat to fit down the chimney.

Positive
Think of how the reindeers feel after pulling a fat guy around the world in one night.

5. Negative
Thinking of what strange things an old man is doing in your living room in the middle of the night.

Positive
Tape Santas' visit and sell the tape as a video to a cable company that features New Rock Bands.

6. Negative
Grandma getting run over by a reindeer.

Positive
More presents for me.

7. Negative
Not getting presents, because the reindeers are sick and can’t pull the sled.

Positive
More deermeat for Santa.

8. Negative
How it’s really hard for Santa to get down the chimney with the fire burning full blast.

Positive
How easy it is for Santa to get up the chimney.

9.Negative
Santa and his reindeers getting shot down by a missile when coming into Canada from the North Pole.

Positive
Presents for the caribou.

10. Negative
How lonely Mrs. Claus gets with Santa away all Christmas Eve.

Positive
The one night a year to party with the Elfs.

Chinese Christmas Decorations
It was four weeks before Christmas. Kris was, in his recently opened store, looking at his newspaper ad, which he was very proud of. It read:

“KRIS’ OUTDOOR CHRISTMAS”
“ALL YOUR OUTDOOR DECORATING NEEDS IN STOCK”

He was feeling good about the Christmas season since all his customers have gone away with all their outdoor decorations like the ad said they would.

Then a man and women came up to Kris.
The man said, “You don’t have any Kings.”
Kris never understood what he meant and replied “What?”
The man repeated, “You don’t have any Kings. We’re putting up a Christmas scene with the Wise Men meeting the King and you don’t have any Kings.”
Kris was embarrassed. He realized he had not even thought about a scene like that.
So he said. “Could you wait a minute, while I check in the back.”

He went into the back room and looked on the Internet. He found the Chinese company he bought his decorations from. They did have Kings, and they would be shipped tomorrow to arrive in two days.
Kris went back to the couple and said, “The Kings are temporary out of stock they will be restocked in three days.”

The couple left and Kris went into the back room to order the kings on the website. The Internet was down. So he dialed the toll free number to place the order. A Chinese man answered the phone. Kris was really embarrassed and frustrated by now since he never ordered kings to start with, so he didn’t have them in stock, so the ad was not true and the customers would get angry and now the Internet was down and he didn’t know the stock number and he didn’t have an order number and on and on.

He told the Chinese man about what a big mess everything was and how he really had to get Kings in stock as soon as possible.
He found the Chinese man being polite and understanding by repeating over and over, “Yes. I understand.”
Final the Chinese man said, “Yes. I understand. What you want. Ship tomorrow. Get two days.”
By this time Kris was talking like the Chinese man.
So Kris said, “Kris must stock Kings.”
The Chinese man replied, “Yes. I understand. How many?”
Kris answered “Five.”
Chinese man asked, “Yes, I understand. How tall?”
Kris answered, “Six foot.”
The Chinese man said, “ Yes. I understand. Kris must stock kings. Five. Six foot. Sent tomorrow. Get two days.”
So Kris completed the order, hung up the phone, and was really happy that things worked out so well. He when to the customer and told him they were temporary out of stock and would have them in two days.

In three days a large crate arrives, right on time. Kris eagerly opened the crate to get the Kings out and put on display right away.
Inside he found Five Six foot tall Christmas stockings.

North Pole Update November 1, 2009

Some notes on how the Halloween season worked out this year.

Santa at the pumpkin festival T-shirts didn’t sell as well as hoped.

Sending letters asking for certain types of candy never worked well either.

And it took far to long to get the bucket unstuck from Santas head. You know your suppose to use the old fashion wash tub for dunking apples.

It didn’t help to sick your dog on Santa when he showed up treat or treating with his big green bag. We know it was September 23. But Santa has a lot of houses to get to.

Still working out the kinks for Santa at Halloween. Found it was difficult to land and take of a sled without snow. We’re looking at a whole new method of transportation. Since Santa really doesn’t need to land on the roof. He only needs to get to the front door. Since that’s where he gets the trick or treat candy to be put into stockings at Christmas.

There might have been a misunderstanding at Dedes house. Concerning the collapse of the large inflatable ghost on the front lawn. Santa fell on it from the roof. But Santa slipped because the roof was repaired recently. So the Santa organization is not responsible for the damage. Also concerning ruts in the front yard. Of course there is no chimney in a front yard. So Santa had no way of getting back on the roof. The reindeers had to land the sled in the front yard to pick up Santa. That came be easy to understand by both parties, so it’s no problem. Also concerning the torn up scarecrows, corn shucks, and pumpkins on display. Give use a break. The reindeers have enough trouble getting a fat guy of the ground.